I have been reflecting so much on education in the last few weeks I thought I would write down my very random thoughts.

You might be asking who am I to write about education and while I am no expert I have many personal experiences. You could argue education is in my blood. My grandma and dad were both teachers. I loved school and while I probably did everything to avoid it becoming my career choice I have always watched how schools have changed from the sidelines.

The birth of my first daughter almost 30 years ago meant my interest increased as the journey with her education began. I have been lucky to play many roles in the education of my three daughters. From parent to volunteer to a school governor. I am currently on my third spell as a governor and I feel lucky to be part of a school that my youngest daughter attends.

Education being in the blood continues, my eldest is a teaching assistant, my middle daughter is in her final year of teacher training. If we weren’t in the middle of lockdown she would be looking for her first job in September. My youngest was just getting into her stride in Year 7 when things changed for ever.

As we officially start week 4 of lockdown I start week 5 of balancing home learning and working from home. I took a decision earlier than the government decision to keep my youngest at home, her anxiety was through the roof and I knew my priority had to be her mental health so our adventure began. From day 1 we openly discussed what we were learning and what was working well. As my daughter is autistic trying to create a new routine was going to be important, if I am being honest we are still trying to do that but we are getting through in our way.

We are sharing an office so the first job was a desk with familiar things around, somewhere she wants to go five days a week, somewhere where the lighting is ok and there is nothing to create sensory overload. I have definitely lost my sewing table for the foreseeable future. The communications from school have been positive from day one, not too much pressure but plenty of options for work to do and advice. The shared stories of how people are coping in the mental health newsletter are always a welcome light read making so many virtual connections. Connections have become more important than ever.

Staff have taken time to provide really personalised responses to questions and positive feedback when I was feeling a failure. Check in calls have been much appreciated. Teachers have gone above and beyond in totally unchartered territory, I just hope in time to come this is recognised and it becomes a profession that is exciting and not only do people want to become teachers they want to stay.

We ditched plans for a timetable early on and instead have a daily to do list with a real mix of activities. Yes there is often Maths, English and Science but we regularly feature activities that have been reduced to almost nothing in many schools. The difference the things like baking, on-line theatre classes, singing, gardening and woodwork have made is unbelievable. We all know these type of activities are good for us in so many ways but they have been squeezed out of the curriculum as we try and box every young person into following a small subset of what could be possible. We are all different, we all have different strengths but we don’t have an education system that allows us to thrive using our strengths. We don’t even look for the strengths in many instances, imagine the frustration of the young person who has a head full of creative ideas and no release as they have to do Physics.

At school I didn’t know what my strengths were I just did as expected and studied subjects I was ok at but fitted with what was expected academically. There were subjects I wasn’t allowed to do (apparently I was too clever) . No wonder I still type with one finger, typing was one of the subjects I wasn’t allowed to do. I have found my own way never really having a career path but only recently playing to my strengths. I now know what I am good at and suddenly want to get back into education and learn more but about the things I love and make me much more effective in the workplace. The last few weeks have reminded me more than ever how important it is to play to our children’s strengths. They are unique individuals and will be more resilient in this world if they can be themselves.

I have seen and heard first hand:

• The frustrations with the way questions are written (a really interesting one if you consider it from a neurodiverse perspective).
• The excitement from being able to do most work on a laptop – at last the thoughts in her head aren’t too fast to get them down. The same can’t be said for handwriting – I really don’t know how we will manage the inevitable change back to writing in text books.
• The pure joy when she talks about certain teachers who she is missing so much as they provide unbelievable support and understanding.
• The frustration when there isn’t immediate advice available when she needs more explanation.
• The interest in my job and what that means for the type of things that matter. The statement who taught you to make difficult decisions while still caring is still spinning in my head, there definitely wasn’t a subject for that!
• The tears as she misses all the basic things we expect schools to provide every day with little recognition or thanks.

As we continue our journey of home learning I hope this massive disruption brings positive change. I dream of:

• An inclusive environment in all schools.

• A broad and varied curriculum that allows all young people to find their strengths.

• Recognition of the importance of subjects that have started to disappear like music and art.

• A renewed enthusiasm for PE to help with the challenges we face from a public health perspective.

• A push on food studies to improve our ability to make our own food and focus on the impact on our health.

• School environments being more open and understanding to the diversity of our society. Currently too many children with special educational needs are home schooled as they feel they have no other option.

• Less pressure linked to results. Ask any parent they want happy, healthy kids who can play their part in the world.

• Schools playing their part in local communities recognising that we all need to work together.

• Teachers being able to balance their career choice with time to enjoy life and look after themselves.
• Recognition of the professions that come together to create a school community, teachers are an important part but we shouldn’t forget the importance of teaching assistants, office staff, educational psychologists, counsellors, the list goes on. They need to work together to create the best environment for young people to learn.

As we all face many more weeks with the challenges Covid19 is bringing to our society I am using my thoughts of the positive change it could bring to provide my personal glimmer of light.

I have been trying to write this blog for weeks but it hasn’t come as easily as the first two about kindness in the community week.

On reflection it is probably because while it was a really special day for the community full of amazing stories it was also a day full of personal emotion.

When Alana had the initial idea of a Kindness in the Community Week an opportunity for the community to come together was always a big part of the plan. After all how many acts of Kindness involve a cuppa, a cafe was always going to be at the heart of it. We had a new addition to the refreshments we are now well practised at providing. A scheme called The Chatty Cafe had caught Alana’s attention so we registered to have a pop up Chatty Cafe. This was only the start, after all what is a Kindness Fair?

The hours of planning that go into events Alana organises is unbelievable – she always has a vision. My job is to translate the vision, easy you might think. I can confirm it is far from easy as her vision has every detail but she can’t always explain the vision she can see.

At a high level the vision was:

Create a relaxing atmosphere.

Bring the community together .

Provide opportunities for people to try new things that would be kind to themselves.

Provide relaxing activities.

Encourage people to talk about their mental health.

Increase awareness of difference.

Provide information on things that can help people be kinder to themselves and others.

First up was a venue. While we have a number of so called community venues we don’t find them all community minded. We always choose St Johns, they are so supportive and Alana knows the layout so well it helps her to visualise everything.

Once we started to publicise the event it was amazing how it came together.

We quickly had a range of free taster sessions. I am always amazed at the unbelievable generosity of people. We had yoga, baby yoga and baby sensory on offer and all were incredibly popular. Setting the events up enabled to me to have fun with eventbrite, it was definately a learning experience. The events were staggered through the day, another part of the master plan. We wanted different people arriving through the day to try and create a constant buzz. These events were a massive tick on the to do list – free events to help people try things that could help them to be kind to themselves.

Next job was refreshments. That should be easy we have done it many times before. This time I suggested a big change and for any of you that know anything about autism will understand change be difficult. I knew that with so much going on I wouldn’t be able to spend much time in the kitchen so we needed people to help. After some discussion Alana agreed and we asked for volunteers. We had an amazing response and a fantastic team was formed. It ran like clock work with a constant supply of drinks, cakes and a new addition sandwiches. I always love the buzz of the tables, people catch up with people they haven’t seen for ages and many sit for hours enjoying the atmosphere and the company.

The next big question was what else should we include. Initially we weren’t going with a raffle as the fair wasn’t intended to be a fundraiser but we quickly started getting amazing donations linked to kindness. Pamper hamper it was then along with loads more amazing prizes.

We then added a craft corner and a sparkle station. It was definately a trip down memory lane to have a badge making machine and see kids enjoying it. There was a real mix of crafts and the activities linked to that presented some of my highlights of the week. To see people of all ages colouring together and chatting was magical. To see a young person with her knitting machine surrounded by other young people showed why it is so important to provide activities for young people. My training as a youth worker is never far from my heart but this provided a sad reminder of how much the provision for young people has reduced.

We still had lots of space to fill and the craft corner had generated a new idea. Who would have thought Made in Kivo would be a thing but on the basis we know that many people make things to help with their own mental health we thought it was worth a try. It was another resounding success with some beautiful products and some lovely people we hadn’t worked with before.

Next up was Mental Health. It was really special to link up with Wales High School to highlight the amazing work they are doing. This featured along with lots of other materials kindly donated by a range of local organisations.

Still a bit of space to fill and we secured two amazing additions. It was special to see people having free hand massages and head massages. Everywhere you looked people were relaxing – that surely is what a kindness fair is about. There was a real buzz and people were sharing stories about the whole week. This was further reinforced by photographs taken throughout the week so people could see what they had missed.

We had extra visitors in the form of a film crew which added something different. Alana had been nominated a Voluntary Action Rotherham award and they wanted to film her in action and interview a number of people in the community. The film is now available and still makes me emotional. It provides a lovely snapshot of a very special day.

We had so much happening but there was still a massive part of Alana’s vision to plan. She is passionate about increasing awareness of difference and she wanted to talk about her own experience of autism. She now had a diagnosis and wanted to talk about what it means for girls. We are not alone in our long battle with a system that is failing so many and Alana wants things to change. She decided it was time to test my eventbrite skills again. A presentation entitled Autism and me was added. Alana had decided for the first time since her diagnosis she wanted to talk publicly about what autism means to her. She had spoken briefly to her classmates a few years earlier to try and explain some of her behaviours. That was scary but this was different, it was a public event that anybody could book and while I encouraged her every step of the way inside I felt sick. Public speaking is scary for most people but this is my little girl who is going to share something that we are still learning to understand and I know as we get close to it anxiety will take over. It should have been positive that it was highly likely to be full of people that already knew Alana but she had recently experienced people she knew well not being as kind as we would all hope. I was torn between unbelievable pride that she wanted to use her story to increase awareness and drive change and the desire to protect her from the possibility (no matter how small) of negativity. There really was only one answer because this was about Alana so the event was publicised and there was no turning back. It was scheduled towards the end of the day. She had a presentation, the technology was sorted and lots of people had booked. All was in place well other than Alana, as anticipated anxiety kicked in. There was a moment when I thought it would be cancelled but team work kicked in and I agreed to help her. I started the session and within seconds she took over. I was blown away, it was short and sweet but in that day in Kiveton she started her journey to improve awareness and drive change. To do that at any age is amazing but she is 12 and struggles more than you will ever know. I can’t explain how I felt as people in the room cried as she spoke, the support was unbelievable and I can’t thank those present enough. In that moment a full room showed pure kindness and that makes such a difference.

A kindness fair was just a name when we started the journey. As we arrived home after an exhausting day we had created our very own version of a kindness fair. None of it would have been possible without an amazing team of people who helped every step of the way. I am sure the 2020 version will be slightly different as we learnt a lot but I really hope it goes from strength to strength.

While the actual week started on Monday 7 October 2019 the build up had already left so many special memories I was worried the week might be an anti-climax, I really didn’t need to worry. Monday morning arrived and all over the village we started to see simple acts of kindness. It was clear that a simple idea was becoming reality. At various locations in the village 50 acts of kindness posters appeared, Alana had selected them all personally with everyone having a reason or a story behind it. They ranged from smiling to donating items to a local charity and so much in between. In schools they also had cards and posters to colour in hearts for every act of kindness.

There was a plan for the week and Alana had every detail in her head. This blog can’t do everything justice but I hope it provides a small insight into what I saw and felt. I know others in the village could equally tell you their story and I was lucky that I was stopped in the street on many occasions and people shared heart warming stories.

The delight when people found hand crocheted flowers in the village was beautiful. People started talking about them on social media. Others shared their own acts of kindness. Kiveton Infants made it a massive focus for the week. If you haven’t seen their posts on social media you should have a look, it will warm your heart on a dark autumn evening. People stopped me in the street and asked if I was Alana’s mum, I was bursting with pride. I particularly loved hearing about a change in language as kids were saying I am not going to do that it’s not kind. Small steps but exactly what Alana’s idea was about. The High School were also fully embracing it, seeing their posts on twitter with a clear link to well-being were another highlight.

Tuesday saw me on my standard commute to Leeds but not to work instead to the next module of a course that is currently providing me enormous inspiration. The title includes 4 words that mean a lot to me – Digital, Health, Women and Leaders. In a world where things are far from equal I take my role as a female leader seriously, I have been lucky to be surrounded by inspirational women who have never seen gender as a barrier. Making sure I was in Leeds on the Tuesday was a kindness to me. There is nothing like being inspired by a group of people you are on a journey with. I took mindful quote cards for all of them and the acts of kindness cards, for a short while our village event travelled to Leeds. That evening I went home via a governor meeting at Wales High School, a role I love in a school that I have had links to for over 40 years. Volunteering is something I have done for years in various ways – you should never underestimate how good it is for your personal well-being. That night was extra special as I saw examples round school of how they were incorporating kindness week into the life of school.

The week included World Mental Health Day, that was a big part of the plan. We all need to be kinder to ourself and Alana understands only too well the consequences when she doesn’t look after herself. I honestly believe if you aren’t kind to yourself it’s hard to be kind to others. We all have our own way of looking after ourselves, luckily in our house music is important to many of us so on World Mental Health Day we chose to be at a local theatre. There really is nothing like a night of musical theatre and 9-5 didn’t disappoint.

As well as trying to encourage simple acts of kindness we planned a number of specific events. They definitely provided a different dimension as groups or people came together.

First up was the Community Sing. Music and singing are proven to improve your well-being and the one thing above all others that helps Alana on her most anxious days. There was only only one person she wanted to lead the event, Nick has been a massive part of Alana’s life and has encouraged her love of theatre every step of the way. She calls him her second dad and in her words – ‘he gets me and I trust him.’ We should never underestimate the importance of trust and understanding. It was lovely to see the church busy on a dark autumn evening with a real mix of ages. It didn’t matter if you couldn’t sing. Nick led a perfect hour with a mix of singing and words that linked the songs to the purpose of the week perfectly. Several people stayed for a cuppa in lovely display of community spirit.

We were all on a high so a few of our trusted team of helpers decided to retire to the local pub for an hour. A rare midweek treat and a great way to start reflecting on what was happening in our community. For an hour all was perfect, then Alana went to buy a bag of crisps – a simple act you would think. Unfortunately 2 people at the bar changed that night for us and we are still dealing with the consequences. According to them I am an irresponsible parent as I had a school age child in the pub mid week. Alana’s Autism means she takes everything literally so she immediately wanted to go home and became very frightened. She has now decided pubs have unkind people in them so a recent family trip to a sleepy country pub for Sunday dinner was fraught with anxiety. There is maybe a different perspective to that night. A team of people who are trying to do nice things in your community were celebrating a beautiful evening and I was buying them all a drink and crisps as a thank-you for being special people to my daughter. If only people would think sometimes, the long term repercussions of words can be devastating. While it was a reality check in a positive week it wasn’t going to stop us.

We had badged Thursday as ‘Thoughtful Thursday’ and the main focus was World Mental Health Day. With massive thanks to the Community ranger we had a well-being walk planned. Dependant on your age you will say the walk took place on the community woodland, for me it took place on the ‘Pit Top’.

While there was only a small group it was definitely a perfect way to look after me. Behind the scenes I was under more pressure at work than ever and while I had booked leave to do the walk it was touch and go to get there. I am so glad I did. There really is nothing like a couple of hours outside, enjoying your surrounding and chatting to new people. As an added bonus I learnt lots about the woodland, the walk is already scheduled for next years event – I would definitely recommend it.

By now the stories were coming thick and fast, whether you were walking round the village or reading social media. We were talking about Kindness and thinking about our actions, that is what Alana wanted.

Meanwhile at home the week had taken over we couldn’t move for bags of items ready for the ‘Kindness Fair’. This would be the event that brought everything together. It deserves a blog in its own right so you will have to wait for part 3 to hear about that.

This blog is definitely a ramble but on the basis you asked for more there is no stopping me now.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton